Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
