is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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