Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
