Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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