waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
