Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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