Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
