I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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