A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
