that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
