i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
People in love make me want to vomit
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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