i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.