I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
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Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located