He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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