And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize