dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My life is pants optional.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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