I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
