How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
