just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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