This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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