I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
