Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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