If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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