I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize