elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
