Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We named our party play list daddy issues
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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