No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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