Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
