how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
