When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize