I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
