Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
