i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
