The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
