He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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