I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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