I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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