Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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