she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
