Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
