I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
