I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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