good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
