know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
