i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
