I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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