I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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