When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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