why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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