So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
