I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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