she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
