Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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