he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
