So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
