I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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