just tell him i said nine months
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
