Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
